The poster for “The Reunion” makes the film look like it’s going to be a western. I myself am a fan of this genre, but felt this film being one would have been ridiculous. The idea of John Cena in the wild, wild west sounds more like a “Saturday Night Live” sketch than an actual film. Granted, WWE Films had not one, but two westerns in production in the past (one starring Triple H & Bobby Lashley, the other starring the Undertaker). I wouldn’t put it past them to make one starring the Doctor of Thuganomics.
Thankfully, “The Reunion” isn’t a western. It’s set in a sleepy Mexico town that most likely doubles as the set for a western. It wasn’t doubling for one this time. That’s the good news. The bad news is the film isn’t good, anyway. Maybe making it a western would have at least made it memorable.
Instead of a western, we’re treated to a generic tale of a family torn apart by an alcoholic and abusive father. They all go their separate paths once they get older, never speaking to one another again. That is, until their father passes away and they gather for his funeral (which has a whopping outcome of four people). As to be expected, sparks fly immediately.
The Cleary clan consists of four radically different people. Sam (John Cena) became a hardnosed cop who has recently been suspended for police brutality. Douglas (Boyd Holbrook) became a bails bondman who is currently in debt. Nina (Amy Smart) apparently did nothing, outside of being sweet and forgiving. Leo (Ethan Embry) is the kid brother they never knew they had. He was abandoned and became an orphan, leading to a life of crime.
All four children will be rewarded three million each if they answer their father’s dying will. Being disgraced at the family he created, he wants the four to reunite and open a business. They must work together for two years or the money will evaporate. What they do is up to them.
Sam bails immediately, only being convinced to join in after Nina convinces him. She’s the only one he partially gets along with. Him and Douglas hate each others guts and he doesn’t trust Leo, since he’s a thief. Knowing they won’t be able to cooperate for two years, the three men come up with a better scheme.
When a millionaire named Wills (Gregg Henry) is kidnapped, a five million reward for his rescue is posted. Since the three men do share similar qualities in the field of criminology, they band together to save the man and capture the reward. That way, they can spent the next two years (and the rest of their lives, most likely) in peace.
This leads to clichéd arguments and jokes, bland action stunts, “Bonanza” references and a strange running gag where John Cena constantly wears hats that don’t suit him. It’s not the film is horrendous or offensively stupid. On the contrary, it’s none of those things. Quite simply, the film is boring.
For starters, there are no likable characters, meaning there’s nobody to root for. Sam is a dick who strongly resembles his father (the man he hates); Douglas is an annoying wiseass; Nina is too forgiving and squirrelly; Leo is tolerable, but is too bleak and knows way too much for someone who has spent most of his life behind bars. The villains that do appear are underdeveloped and Theresa Trujillo (Lela Loren) is eye candy that serves no purpose.
The pacing and direction, courtesy of Michael Pavone, is slow and unavailing. He makes the story crawl at a snail’s pace and is only concerned with setting up the next action sequence. This would be fine if said scenes were entertaining. They’re simply generic fights and explosions that appear in most action films, this time excluding the excitement.
To say “The Reunion” is the worst movie WWE Films has made wouldn’t exactly be correct, in my opinion. A few others (including “Knucklehead” and “The Chaperone”) were plagued by their own directional mistakes and bad humor. At least those films were slightly memorable and kept your attention. It may have been for the wrong reasons, but they served a purpose. The sole purpose of “The Reunion” seems to be to give John Cena another paycheck.
Final Rating: D