Getting ready for E3 is kind of like writing out your Christmas list. My wish for for E3 is always the same: Borderlands 3 announcement (PS make Tiny Tina a playable character). Of course, Gearbox shut down that dream. For good video game fanboys and girls all around the globe, E3 tells us just how much fun (and how broke) we’re going to be in the years to come. Until June 12th, through, all we can do is dream, and hedge our bets. Here’s what I’d like to see at this year’s E3.
Cyberpunk 2077
Look, Geralt in Soulcalibur is not enough to make my no-more-Witcher-games grief subside. I’m going to need some serious info on Cyberpunk 2077. I’m going to need some gameplay. I’m going to need something. CD Projekt Red has become something of the eternal good guy in the video game world; from the free DLC to standing up for the Bioware Devs after the Andromeda implosion they’re just great guys, and the kind of team you can’t help but root for. I am stoked to see their next game.
Kingdom Hearts 3
Squeenix has their own presentation this year, and while I thoroughly enjoy the FFXV mobile fishing game (sarcasm), Kingdom Hearts 3 is going to be the star. We’re so close now I can almost taste the paupau fruit. Considering we haven’t had a Kingdom Hearts game since the PS2, this one is a long time coming. We better get some gameplay footage.
Anthem
Dear Bioware,
Please don’t die before Dragon Age 4.
Thanks.
Final Fantasy VII
I’d like to tell you I have hopes for this game. I’d like to say that all of the incredibly depressing news coming out of this game is actually a sign Squeenix is taking it seriously. It’s a train wreck, and we all know it. I only want to see it make an appearance at SE’s presentation so I can put another nail into the coffin that is my childhood.
Atomic Heart
What.
When.
How much of my money do you need?
Seriously, though, Atomic Heart came out of nowhere and stole our Bioshock-loving hearts with one seriously nutty trailer. I need to know more. And speaking of…
Bioshock 4
There is real, legitimate evidence to support the theory that 2K is actively working on a Bioshock sequel. I need a lighthouse, and a man. I need more Bioshock. Do I think we’ll see this? Nah. But wouldn’t it be great?
Bethesda
Yes, we heard you. It’s not Elder Scrolls 6. We just had a Fallout, so it’s not that. It’s something new. Fine. Please stop bringing Skyrim to every platform known to man and give us a game. Rage 2 might be confirmed, but that’s still not enough to fill up an entire conference.
I swear to god, if we get a conference about how amazing ESO is I’m going to never buy another copy of Skyrim again. Probably. Or maybe I’ll just buy so many copies of Skyrim across so many different platforms that I’ll go broke and need a twelve step group and more room in my storage unit next to all those “valuable” Pokemon cards. Just imagine the looks on the faces of those guys from Storage Wars when they see nothing but Pokemon Cards and Skyrim. Man, being a nerd is hard.
Honestly, though, we’ve had Skyrim on every platform known to man, right? They’re not going to release a Playstation VR 2.0 with a newer edition of Skyrim? They wouldn’t do that to us… right? Guys?
God I hate Bethesda. I’ll be over here crying into Skyrim on the Switch.
Death Stranding
I have so many questions. I don’t really expect answers; I expect more trippy footage that may or may not be related to the actual game full of symbolism I can’t possibly understand, but if you guys could give up something, anything, that’d be great.
From Software
It might be a trope at this point to call everything remotely difficult the Dark Souls of whatever we’re making fun of, but in all honestly From Software needs to come out of their hole, stop counting their Dark Souls remake cash, and give us something new. If God of War taught us anything (other than none of us knows how to read Atreus’s neck tattoo and Thor is really a murdery jerk) it’s that a good, hard, balanced fight is hard to come by. Where God of War is tricksy, the Soulsborne games are so balanced that you know for a fact every death is 100 percent on you and that salt is just so good.
Anyways, Bloodborne 2?