Now this is something that’s for the most part out of my element, as I’m not much of a wrestling reviewer. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been watching for 15 years, and remember more stuff than even the average podcast running uber smark. But mostly, for everything the WWE has done, the good, and the bad, I’ve stuck with them out of being a major fan of the product with the belief that the company was this horrible conglomerate, but dammit, they at least gave me some hope each week in the prosperity of the business for the long run. When I was a major fan back in the early 2000’s, I was lucky to come in at a time where new stars were being built, and the future for most of them looked bright. Guys like Jericho, Edge, Eddie, Angle, and yes, even Benoit were built strong, only on a more rare occasion made to look like putzes to fellate the tired nostalgia pops.
And sadly, that mentality seems to have changed. The landscape of the WWE right now is perhaps the worst it’s ever been. The wrestling is still solid, but when you look at all the talents built up in the last five years, how many have they actually stayed strong? How many guys who managed to get themselves over eventually got punished for trying to dare break the glass ceiling? How many of these bright stars, who the crowd are in love with, get their pushes obliterated over a fluke concussion? And most importantly, how many stars who have the whole crowd behind them have the WWE ignored in their constant “fear of change”?
The way I look at the Royal Rumble 2014 Pay Per View is that it proves the ultimate point about the biggest problem plaguing the WWE right now. Nostalgia over building stars. I don’t mind seeing one of my favorites return, but how the WWE has grossly overused nostalgia in hopes of driving ratings back up is becoming harder to ignore. Especially at the expense of what is currently a strong roster of superstars who want to lead the company into the next few years. But how can they when they become fodder for the big returning superstar?
So, let’s get into each match and my thoughts.
If the show didn’t start on a bad enough note, having the New Age Outlaws win the tag titles was a great sign of things to come. The match wasn’t bad, but really? You build this tag division with the likes of the Usos, The Real Americans, The Prime Time Players, and so many more, and the team to beat Cody and Goldust is Road Dogg and Billy Gunn? I know I’m complaining that a nostalgia act beat a tag team where one half is also a nostalgia act, but at least Goldust’s return had a lot of emotion to it, and he’s honestly working better than he ever has. The Outlaws winning just feels like Hunter’s boys get another pointless run with the gold.
The actual PPV opens with Bray Wyatt and Daniel Bryan. They had a great match. A lot of brawling, some interesting spots, and it never felt too slow. I wanna say Bray has a major future ahead of him, but really looking at what angle he’s headed in next, I can’t be that optimistic. Finish comes with a really awesome spot of Daniel Bryan going for his running dive, only to be countered into a Sister Abigail on the barricade. Bray goes over with another Sister Abigail in ring. This outcomes just leaves a foreboding feeling for everyone who was rooting for Bryan the entire Pay Per View, and going by the raucous crowd in Pittsburgh, that was almost everybody. If the WWE was ever intent on dropping the ball on a guy, then it almost feels intentional for Bryan at this stage in the game.
Speaking of dropping the ball. The WWE almost seems intent on ruining Brock Lesnar. This guy that they build as this monster heel gets booked as a cheap shot artist who has to use a chair to beat down Big Show. Then again, how they booked Brock as a chump going in to this “match” should shock nobody. Brock should be physically dominant and destructive as a good monster heel should be. He shouldn’t need a steel chair to destroy Big Show, he should do it on his own. I will say I popped a bit for Show hitting the WMD as Brock tried to hit him with a chair, but other than that, this was a throwaway match. If they’re really going to put him against Undertaker at Wrestlemania 30, this may be the worst way possible to do it.
And next up is the “most anticipated rematch in WWE history” as the company continues to spout, John Cena vs Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. It was so anticipated alright. The outright apathy of the crowd was a fine example of that. Choosing to chant for Daniel Bryan, JBL, and even Y2J at certain points. There was even a “We Want Divas” chant. Yikes. But did the fact that the crowd completely dumped on the match get at the WWE’s proverbial non-Daniel Bryan goat? Of course not. They just claimed that the crowd was “just trying to psych out Randy Orton”. That alone ruined what really made this crowd reaction so glorious.
Honestly, it wasn’t a bad match. Lots of good spots, including a nice segment where both Cena and Orton would hit their opponent’s finishing maneuvers. The problem is, we’ve seen this before, and knowing the WWE’s logic, we’ll see it again. Heavily overbooked and dripping in hyperbole and the WWE’s massive hubris. The end comes with Cena trying to make Orton tap to the STF, only for the Wyatt Family to interfere, helping Orton retain via an RKO. The post-match has the Wyatts beat down Cena, effectively setting up a feud between Bray and Cena for Wrestlemania. I hate to pull the whole “Spoiler: Cena wins” card, but does anybody actually see Bray have a sliver of hope in this feud? In the end, Cena will destroy the family week in, week out, and finally put the character to rest at Wrestlemania.
And then we get to the main event of the evening, the Royal Rumble match. The match started pretty strong, with CM Punk as #1, and the likes of Rollins, Sandow, and Rhodes entering subsequently. I particularly marked a bit at Alexander Rusev debuting at the Rumble, and was quite happy with them giving him such a strong showing. Also, Kane entering only to be eliminated by Punk almost seemed to set up Punk being screwed over by the end. As for most of the entrants, it was a particularly forgettable affair for most of them. We got Kofi’s big spot this year, though why Rusev left him on the barricade over dropping him on the floor makes no sense honestly.
Kevin Nash returned to the company, but had a particularly forgettable showing. We had the worst comedy spots of the rumble in a long time with both JBL and El Torito wasting spots. And we had the return of Sheamus, which while I’m a little glad to see him back, I just quickly forgot his existence in the rumble. Speaking of which, I also completely forgot Alberto Del Rio was a thing until his music hit. Big Dave Batista would enter at #28, and would come off gassed and rusty. The crowd’s anger really built up once Batista entered, and only got more heated as Big E Langston took the #29 spot, leaving #30 to poor Rey Mysterio. Seeing the crowd get hyped up for a hopeful Daniel Bryan entry was sad to see, but felt a bit cathartic once the boos really picked up. Roman Reigns gets to break Kane’s record of eliminations, and Batista wins the rumble, much to the joy of the McMahons, and much to the disgust of a crowd in Pittsburgh and fans all over the world.
The crowd reaction at the Rumble will forever be a memorable one because it’s the ultimate example of the complete disconnect between those behind booking for the WWE, and the crowd who are tired of the same routine, and especially feel sick of seeing some old star from days gone by come back and be showered with undeserved rumble wins, and main event spots at the biggest event of the year while guys like Daniel Bryan (who, going by the reaction, is the real biggest star in the company right now) get the shaft. Why should anyone right now have any stock in the future of the business when the WWE continues to try and crush that future with their lack of faith? When you have Mick Foley, one of the nicest people in the business who rarely says a discouraging word, and his son Dewey verbally bashing the company for their current decisions, then you know the WWE is really screwing things up.
And I know a lot of this nostalgia booking has a lot to do with them trying to drum up interest in the WWE Network, and hoping for a big response as people pick the network up in time for Wrestlemania 30, but I really have to wonder how well this works, and how many people really want to pump 60 dollars either way for a main event match between Batista and Randy Orton. It’s seriously something We’ve seen a thousand times, and the WWE will build it up like they always do as “the biggest Wrestlemania match of all time” because they have no compassion or any contempt for “the WWE universe”. But no. This just reeks of the worst outcomes possible. A feud that got tiring in 2008 as the main event, John Cena going over young talent, Brock and Taker just having no signs of living up to hype, Hunter’s ego in full force against CM Punk, and Sheamus and Bryan for the thousandth time. Wouldn’t shock me if they actually tried to have Sheamus break the 18 second record at WM 28 just to twist the knife.
So, I leave it up to you the reader. Are you excited for Wrestlemania? Do you feel the same doom and gloom that a lot of fans do right now? Does this give you more or less incentive to invest early in the WWE Network? We still have about 69 days to go, and things could shape up for the better, making this whole “Gloomy Gus” article look bad by then, but for now the road to Wrestlemania for a lot of people just had a major pile-up.