Kristen D. Eats The World: A Christmas Story (1983)

 Merry Christmas F.A.N-mily!

Kristen D. reporting in, just in time for the Holidays.

There has only been one movie I can say I have seen at least once a year, every year since I was born. And that movie is A Christmas Story. I don’t think I have ever seen another film stay with us for so long, and still be as good as it was the first time we saw it. The cult following is incredible and I am glad it’s still a part of many of our Christmas traditions.

A Christmas Story (1983)

A Review By Kristen Dowd

Nine year old Indianian Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley) is your average kid; he does will in school, has some epic daydreams, has some good friends and does his best to not strangle his little brother. It’s Christmas time and the only thing Ralphie wants is a Red Ryder BB Gun (with a compass in the stock, and this thing that tells time) and he tries everything he can to convince his parents to get it for him. When asking his mother (Melinda Dillon) fails, he writes a school report about it, hoping his teacher, Miss Shields will come to his defense. Instead he’s met with a C+ grade. As a last ditch effort he asks the mall Santa and he repeats the dreaded words Ralphie keeps hearing “you’ll shoot your eye out”, before pushing him down a slide with his boot.

 Ralph “Ralphie” Parker Is A Good Serial Killer Name

Aside from trying to get his dream gift, Ralphie has to deal with a few problems. The biggest being the school bully, Scut Farkus (Zack Ward) who constantly targets Ralpie and his group of friends. That all finally comes to head when Scut picks on Ralphie one too many times, making the youngster snap. Thanks to Ralphie’s mom, Farkus got to walk away, but not without a bloody nose and a bruised ego.

Ralph Parker: Portrait of A Killer

Another subplot is Ralphie’s father (Darren McGavin) beaming about winning a prize. He hopes for a bowling alley but gets a Leg Lamp. He and the boys are mesmerized, mom, not so much. Later on in the film, she accidentally knocks it down and breaks it, leading The Old Man to accuse her of doing it on purpose. What I like about this film is how it isn’t just a Christmas story, it’s a deeper film that kids of all ages could relate to in some way. I left a TON of plot points and the ending out because you deserve to see this movie at least once in your life. It’ll likely be on TNT or TBS in a’24 Hours of a Christmas Story’ marathon. So after you unwrap your gifts, grab your family and have a watch.

The Stuff of Nightmares

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