Cinemasochist’s Dungeon of Horrors: Frankenhood

The Master must be displeased with “Frankenhood”. He sent it down into the dungeon to punish me, yet it didn’t even faze me. Sure, it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. However, it’s not terrible, either. There are actually moments that are quite funny. They’re far and few between, but they exist. That’s more than I expected (and The Master, for that matter).

When you hear the plot of “Frankenhood”, it sounds like it’d be perfect material for me (just hearing the title makes you believe that). Motown (DeRay Davis) and Darius (Jasper Redd) work the night shift at a morgue (doing nothing apparently) with hopes and aspirations of winning the local basketball tournament and claiming the twenty-five thousand dollar prize. Standing in their way is the lack of a third teammate. Nobody wants to play with them as they always land in last place.

Their luck changes when their crazy co-worker, Franklin (Charlie Murphy), borrow them and their car for one of his experiments. He’s a mad scientist working on bringing back life. He uses the cadaver of a gigantic man he dubs Frankie (Bob Sapp, who’s like the decaf version of Michael Clarke Duncan) and hooks him up to Motown’s car. The operation is a success and Frankie is alive again! Oh, and Franklin is injured when he’s accidentally electrocuted. They needed a way to write off Charlie Murphy for awhile, as he was probably only on set for two to three days.

Motown and Darius decide to make Frankie their third man as he’s tall, muscular, athletic and black (their words, not mine). Only downside is that he’s been reborn and acts like an innocent baby. He can walk upright and handle himself well, but doesn’t know how to speak, play basketball or take a piss. There’s actually a scene where they take him into the bathroom and all we hear is rather sexual comments much to Motown’s sister’s chagrin. It’s not funny, but the performers try their best.

The actors are the only reason “Frankenhood” works in spots. The plot is laughable (the kind where you point and laugh, not laugh with it) and the story is contrived. Blaxwell Smart (which I’m convinced is a stage name) simply directs the film through the motions and oftentimes forgets about the villain, Marcellus (Hassan Johnson) and Motown’s love interest, Tammy (Drew Sidora). They don’t play too much of a pivotal role until the end. For the first half they’re mainly afterthoughts used simply to move the story along.

It’s the actors that almost make this material work. Almost all of them are standup comedians, which explains their good timing and facial expressions. DeRay Davis and Jasper Redd are charismatic and play off of each other well. Bob Sapp is as loveable here as he was in “The Longest Yard” remake. J.B. Smooth nearly steals the show as Leon, Marcellus’ right hand man. Even when dealt with the worst (and longest) joke, that being one of his women being attracted to Frankie and he constantly questioning her, he does his best to make the material work. That’s not to say he does, but there’s only so much one can do with lame material. Even Charlie Murphy seems to be enjoying himself, even when it appears as if he doesn’t want to be there.

“Frankenhood” will never be discussed in most circles as a good film. Hell, it probably won’t be discussed in most circles at all! When it is though, it won’t be thoroughly trashed. Some will poke fun at it and dislike it, but it’s far from an atrocity. It’s one of this films that, if it played on cable, it would be decent enough for background fodder. Not high praise, but when your film is called “Frankenhood”, that’s a compliment.

Final Rating: C