Okay ladies and gents. I’ve been super stressed out this week. The three jobs I’m juggling plus school is kind of making me go crazy. You know, like if I had some telekinesis, I’d be going “Carrie” on everyone’s ass kind of crazy. But alas, my super powers haven’t come in the mail yet (THANKS A LOT, AMAZON!) so I have to do something to take my mind off how shit-tastic my life is right now.
That something is to be as melodramatic as possible (I don’t know why it makes me feel better, it just does okay??? LEAVE ME ALONE…see what I mean?). To be quite frank, my mind has been like a full season of “My So-Called Life” as of late, so it seems fitting for me to discuss some music that has been the soundtrack to my melodrama over the years. The two bands that have personified my overly emotional mood swings are none other than Taking Back Sunday and Brand New.
Jordan Catalano, get out of my head!!!
Brand New has grown into the better band, unlike TBS who got stuck in their adolescent sound. But the real question we’re tackling in this week’s Classic Cut is whose first album is better; Brand New’s “Your Favorite Weapon” or TBS’s “Tell All Your Friends”?
Sound:
This category seems sort of facetious, mainly because at the time, these bands had an almost identical pop-punk, emo sound. Yet, TBS captured a somewhat whinier and most definitely bitchier tone on their album, while Jesse Lacey and the boys always sound smooth and overall less annoying. Although TBS definitely garnered more publicity and more fully grasped that emo aesthetic with their dual vocals, in the end, Brand New is just easier to listen to.
Winner: Brand New
Lyrics:
Alright, so here is where the battle gets a bit juicier. Apparently John Nolan (TBS) and Jesse Lacey (Brand New) have been friends since childhood but while Jesse and his girlfriend were going through a bit of a rough patch John, like any good best friend, banged Jesse’s girl (giving a whole new meaning to that Rick Springfield song, “Jessie’s Girl”). Obviously, this didn’t go over that
That is not what I meant guys!
well with Jesse, so both band’s first records became centered on the lady drama going on between them.
Both of these albums sound like they were written on LiveJournals, so in respect for time and my mental capacity for reading bad teenage poetry, I’m going to pick the two big “diss tracks” from each record.
On Brand New’s, “Seventy Times Seven,” Lacey pretty much calls Nolan out in every line, but here’s the best of the best:
“Don’t apologize (I hope you choke and die!)”
…OH NO HE DIDN’T!
“So is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish
I’ve seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids
Have another drink and drive yourself home
I hope there’s ice on all the roads
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt
and again when your head goes through the windshield
Is that what you call tact?
You’re as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
So let’s end this call and end this conversation
And is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with
Cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say ‘best friends’ means friends forever”
Those whole two verses are like something you’d see on someone’s Myspace page after having a fight in the gym locker room. For how silly and teenage it all is, Lacey really did give it to him (just like Nolan gave it to his girlfriend, ZING!).
On TBS’s response, “There’s No ‘I’ in Team,” Nolan seems like he is trying to explain the situation, but ends up just sounding like a dick.
“And I’ve got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you’re up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me”
That $20 bill line is stolen from Brand New’s song “Mixtape,” but do you see what I mean here about these backhanded apologies? He’s all, “I bet you’re drunk and punching shit but I still love you, bro.”
I just had to.
“You never knew
well I never told you…
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it’s true
I’ve never done it with the style and grace you have
But I’ve made long term plans
based on these mistakes”
Blame the victim much, Nolan? Classy move. In the end though, the song is a pretty hard-hitting reply to “Seventy Times Seven,” but that still doesn’t make Nolan any less of a dick. So, this one has to go to Brand New.
Winner: Brand New.
Cover:
Okay, so both of these covers are pretty lame. With Brand New’s cover, you get the whole chess metaphor, pretty much calling out TBS saying, “Your move, bitches.”
TBS’s cover on the other hand is just a blurry shot from the highway. It may be a comment on how being on the road touring is just a giant blur. Or maybe, it’s a comment on how the night John Nolan fucked Jesse Lacey’s girlfriend was a blur. Either way, it’s not that creative.
Winner: No one, but in the extremely unlikely situation that someone put a gun to my head and made me choose (what a weird reason to put a gun to someone’s head), I’d have to go with Brand New.
Impact:
Again, neither of these albums will probably go down in the history books. It’s not like either band had made a prophetic record; Weezer had already made “The Blue Album,” and there’s really no topping that. Personally though, both records have gotten me through some pretty rough patches during my teenage years. Although Brand New has gone on to make two really great records after “Your Favorite Weapon” (“Daisy” was just okay,) TBS’s “Tell All Your Friends” was definitely more of an emo giant, making a sound really unique at the time.
Winner: TBS
OVERALL WINNER: Brand New
You suck TBS!