A mildly amusing story regarding this week’s Movienalia entry, “The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars”. I was watching Doug Walker’s video on what films he wouldn’t review and he mentioned “The Brave Little Toaster”. He says he won’t review it because he loves the film, though may consider reviewing the sequels. The one in particular is this one, as it sounded like a “Simpsons” gag, not a real movie.
The next day, I went yard sale hunting and what did I find? “The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars”, of course! For only a dollar, this precious oddity was mine. I forked my dollar over and vowed to beat the Nostalgia Critic to the punch.
As it turns out, I already did. A few weeks ago, I inducted “The Exorcist 2: The Heretic” into the Halloween Movienalia 2011. Two weeks later, what did Doug review? The same movie! Clearly, this was only a coincidence. However, I still claim it as a personal victory.
Since I had this copy of “The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars” sitting in my collection, I decided to induct it, anyway. Here it is, folks. Enjoy!
-Why does this music make me think of “A Nightmare on Elm Street”?
-Usually, space is reserved for horror sequels, not family ones.
-Why does it look like they’re driving that car in reverse?
-How is the vacuum cleaner snapping it’s plug?
-“Come over here and twist my dial.” The radio is a pervert!
-Just what a movie about living appliances need; a talking rat who likes rap music.
-“That song has just been murdered.” Just like the writer’s credibility.
-A talking hearing aid. Maybe this is why Randy Orton hears voices in his head.
-“You know the Master. He never throws anything away.” He’s a hoarder!
-“Tax time. I live for it!” Somewhere, Mike Rotunda is smiling.
-It’s fitting that Wayne “Newman” Knight is voicing the microwave.
-I think a “Three Musketeers” movie starring kitchen appliances would be more entertaining than Paul W.S. Anderson’s.
-Why does the Master look like Ron Howard?
-How do you mistake a baby for a sausage?
-Please don’t tell me a rat is going to give a blanket the “birds and the bees” talk.
-Blanket is a drama queen.
-Is Blanket sizing up for a heel turn? He seems to be concocting a plan to kill the baby.
-A baby crying brings Blanket out of depression? Okay, then.
-“Hold your applause until you’ve seen me do a baked potato.” A quote from Jenna Jameson.
-This movie had to insert a random musical number, didn’t it?
-Why is the baby left unattended in the kitchen? Way to be horrible parents!
-Why did she dress her baby as a sailor?
-“I see a new you.” Can I see a new scene, please?
-Hey honey, look! Our son is talking to the toaster. Quick, to the psychiatrist’s.
-The Little Master sounds like a euphemism for penis.
-The hearing aid is orchestrating an alien invasion? Are you freakin’ kidding me?!?
-My mother wears a hearing aid. Should I suspect her of communicating with aliens?
-“Let’s keep an eye out on the hearing aid.” Just listen to make sure he doesn’t do anything.
-The toaster is a masochist, apparently.
-The baby monitor looks like it’s on drugs.
-If your baby can easily climb out of a crib, you need a new one.
-This baby is getting into more trouble than Ricky Gervais at an awards show.
-Why exactly would aliens want to abduct a hearing aid?
-Did the radio just call the hearing aid a “son of a bitch”?
-Would accidentally abducting a baby instead of a hearing aid be an upgrade?
-I never thought I’d see a hearing aid being tortured by kitchen appliances.
Shouldn’t the martians be abducting moms instead?
-“Who was trying to beam you up?” Scotty?
-“The Little Master didn’t want to get sprung.” I don’t think he can, yet. ;)
-If only these were Billy Bob Thornton’s appliances. He would be able to build them a spaceship.
-“We’ve got a little problem here”. It’s called writer’s block, hence this plot.
-A security control computer can get them to Mars? Screw it, logical enough!
-All I need to go to Mars is a fan, basket, microwave, calculator and popcorn? Who wants to go to Mars with me?
-Information is like crack for calculators.
-When your biggest fan is an overhead fan, you’ve got problems.
-“If I knew I had to be on the bottom, I never would have agreed to this.” A common complaint on a porn set.
-A rat and a blanket are mission control? This is a lot like NASA.
-Flying on popcorn is a terrible idea!
-Blanket snuck on to the ship. What a sneaky bastard!
-The hearing aid’s original Master was Albert Einstein. Who was the toaster’s original Master, Jeffrey Dahmer?
-Why am I fine with appliances talking, but not balloons?
-A hippie balloon. How did this not pop up in a “Cheech and Chong” movie?
-Why do the balloons get their own musical number?
-I never expected a Woodstock reference in this movie.
-I could care less if that balloon came from a rodeo.
-It would suck if they accidentally crashed into the sun.
-Way to almost kill everybody, Blanket!
-Mars is filled with sarcastic satellites. Wonderful.
-Viking I and Ric Flair have a lot in common. Both are legends that don’t know when to quit, even after receiving a big send-off.
-Alice in Mars-land?
-How does a kid stick a Christmas ornament into a satellite?
-How exactly did all of these toasters get on Mars?
-There’s such a thing as military toasters?
-A rat and a baby monitor are fighting. Only a stoner could have imagined this.
-Are these alien appliances or just stranded ones?
-Appliances take babies as prisoners. That’s kind of creepy.
-How did Blanket get into the baby’s bubble?
-So, kitchen appliances are going to blow up Earth? Who wrote this, M. Night Shymalan?
-A mad scientist created fragile appliances, which is why they’re going to destroy Earth. That’s the best they could come up with?
-Intelligent refrigerators. It’s only a matter of time before they’re invented.
-“Power to the appliances” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as “Power to the people”.
-Appliance socialism is a strange concept.
-When I popped in “The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars”, I didn’t expect an election between a refrigerator and a toaster.
-Political debates may be more enthralling if they were musical numbers.
-“If they hated us, why would they employ us?” It’s the law.
-I’ll side with the refrigerator. Humans can suck at times!
-If that baby’s name is Damien, he could be evil.
-Why is the refrigerator so gigantic, anyway? Did they make it for John Goodman?
-The hearing aid to the rescue!
-A baby’s touch makes a refrigerator nice and heartwarming. Does that mean my nephew can fix a refrigerator?
-The toaster won the election. Go figure. It was rigged, I tell you!
-If a toaster can become Supreme Commander of Mars, that means I stand a chance of becoming President. Bow down to me!
-When and why did they install an escalator on the refrigerator?
-A fridge suicide? How depressing, Disney.
-Albert Einstein’s other hearing aid was controlling the refrigerator. Is Einstein’s soul in the freezer?
-“When you live with someone for a long time, it rubs off.” It’s called marriage.
-If I landed on Mars and discovered old kitchen appliances, I’d be freaked out.
-Why is the baby still in the bubble?
“Alls well that ends well.” This isn’t well, but I hope it ends soon.
-Who exactly set off the rocket?
-So, the toaster strands himself on Mars to save Earth. How sweet!
-There are bald people who need hair, but they put it on a doll instead.
-Since they saved toaster without landing, I don’t think they need to tear out the doll’s hair for relaunch.
-This just couldn’t end without another musical number, could it?
-That Christmas ornament looks like Sinead O’Conner now.
-Your baby can climb out of it’s crib. That should worry you.
-Bald Christmas ornaments need love too.
-The baby’s first word is ‘toaster’. How disappointing.
-Screw buying presents! Just give your kid(s) old kitchen appliances.
Thus concludes “The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars”. Out of all the ideas for a sequel they had, they went with this. I guess they figured the sheer absurdity of it would catch people’s attention. It worked, as that’s the only reason it was inducted into Movingly (outside of beating the Nostalgia Critic to the punch).
That’s all, folks!