I tried really hard not to type the words “yee-haw” in the first line. I managed to avoid using it straight up, but here we are. That’s right lady and gentlemen, this week we’re going back in time to a show that was set back in time. If you’re head just didn’t explode, please, keep reading. The Cartwright family was 4 men living together; it was like that show My Three Sons but there were cowboy hats, shooting, and bullying the town folk because Ben Cartwright has the most money. That’s right, IT’S BONANAZA!
We can all thank my Dad for the show choices this month, but this show is really the one he drove home. Sorry, the appropriate verbiage is “rode” due to the subject, but that comes off super creepy.
Ben Cartwright and his boys Adam, Eric (Hoss) and Little Joe all lived on a cozy little half-a-million acres called “The Ponderosa.” Here they raised livestock, produced timber, and learned to care damn it. All kidding aside, this show was very different from a typical western. Instead of the saloon brawls and gun slingers (trust me, there was plenty of this too), they tackled pertinent social issues and had comedic episodes. Watching reruns with my Dad, it wouldn’t be too infrequent to get an episode about Joe and Adam fighting over a girl, followed by a good old fashioned train robbery, and then Hoss wrangles up some fun with a bunch of leprechauns. How’s that for variety?
Speaking of variety (see that transition? That’s why I make literally hundreds of dollars a year), have you ever seen a show where the characters wear the same clothes every day? I think these cowboys may have started that trend. LIttle Joe always had a grren jacket, Hoss a brown vest, and Adam wore all black like some kind of brooding emo cowboy. We can just assume we caught them on the same day in their laundry cycle every week.
You’d think living on a huge plot of land, having more money than Jesus (the wrestler) and being able to run a town because you have the sheriff in your pocket would make any family happy. That’s right; I’m calling you out Coffee!
"You talking to me boy?"
But no, those darn Cartwrights always have to be at odds. They sometimes don’t along with each other because their father is a player. That’s right, old Ben (player) sired his 3 sons with 3 different women. Seeing as he is the patriarch of this awesome family, the writers made sure to note that he was widowed each time. If that isn’t girl bait, I don’t know what is. Each son then has to deal with two half-brothers, and boy were they different! Adam (player) was the oldest and the intellectual type. Little Joe (player) was the youngest and a bit of a handful. Hoss (eh, he does okay) was a block head and the gentle giant type. You can just smell the conflict.
The stories often ranged in topic. I mean, it ran for 14 seasons. They had a lot of ground to cover and unlike that lazy Gunsmoke, it wasn’t all about that darn Kitty. Minds out of the gutter, there was no useless eye candy on this show.
I stand corrected.
The two shows I just mentioned prove one thing if any; westerns can go on forever. Hell, I’ve seen new episodes of Bonanaza that I thought were reruns for 25 minutes. To further note, I was just fine with that. It made me take notice to something I wanted off the television but my Dad was super into. That last sentence aside, I do enjoy the show. I can see why it ran so long and why it was so popular and revolutionary. That’s probably why it’s always on. Turn on the television right now. You’ll find it.
The endurance of the show is clearly a great thing for audiences, but it can create issues in the world of Hollywood. Some actors get big heads. In the case of the man who played Hoss, Dan Blocker’s case, he was just born that way. Also, just like in Dan Blocker’s case, some actors die. The former was the actor that played Adam, Pernell Roberts. He left just halfway through the shows run, improving the quality of the show by about 25%. Adam was what I would consider the inspiration for Brian on Family Guy. I’m almost certain I’m the first one to make this comparison. He never really did anything, only shows up to mock the people you care about, and appears disinterested. I’m pretty sure that was because Pernell was a bit of a jerk off stage. I’d try not to speak ill of the dead, but then I couldn’t say anything bad about the show. Roberts did pass last year after battling pancreatic cancer. Oddly enough, that’s what Little Joe (Michael Landon) died from too in 1991. You might know Landon from Little House on the Prairie and having great hair. There must have been something in the water over there at the Ponderosa to kill these poor guys.
Oh right, that takes me back to Mr. Dan Blocker. Hoss was great, and the show was never the same after Blocker’s death in 1972. The show only lasted one more year, as the magic was gone without the lovable Hoss. This is the only thing I remember vehemently hating about this show. In the show, they killed off Hoss after Blocker died. They didn’t do any big farewell, they didn’t do a funeral or anything. They just kind of mentioned it and moved on. COME ON! The man stood up for slaves in the old west! He fought for the common man and helped a crazy old guy invent a flying machine. He discovered leprechauns for the love of Candy.
"Hi, I'm Candy. I've somehow been making you wish Adam came back. And no, having the name Candy hasn't made me feel the need to prove anything."
Well....Adam looks pretty good.
Courtesy to: Tvtropes.com, Blondeepisodes.com, Ponderosascenery.homestead.com, Dcanary.com.