Five Nights at Freddy’s has a Director and it’s Awful


Get your affairs in order, kids, because we’re spending Five Nights at Freddy’s with director Chris Columbus.

That’s right, the man who brought us Mrs. Doubtfire, Home Alone, and Adventures in Babysitting is at the helm for the indie horror cult smash hit game-turned-film. This isn’t his first foray into the world of video game-themed movies — Columbus’s last directorial effort was Adam Sandler’s Pixels, which was nominated for 2016’s Razzie Awards’ top dishonor: worst picture of the year.

But he directed the Julia Roberts family drama Stepmom. So that’s a perfect fit, right?

The announcement came via the twitter account for Blumhouse, the production company who snagged rights to FNaF from New Line after courting the game’s creator, Scott Cawthon (who will serve as a producer on the film).

Five Nights at Freddy’s tells the story of a security guard trapped in children’s pizza joint while the animatronic monsters run wild. It utilizes jump scares and survival tactics, often forcing the player to let the murder-bent mechanical creatures stalk them while they conserve resources to last the night. The rate of player death is high, and the stress of trying to stay alive is enough to invoke your fight-or-flight response (I’ve seen friends fall out of chairs trying to escape Freddy Fazbear and his murderous minions). It’s a clever game that inspired a fiercely loyal fanbase.

It does not feature warm and fuzzy family-friendly moments, or touching scenes that make you appreciate those close to you.


For some, Columbus might not be a terrible choice. After all, his writer credits include Goonies and Gremlins, and his producing credits include The Witch, starring the best goat of all time. But his directorial history has a significant lack of scary, and without scary FNaF is just time wasted hanging out at your nephew’s stupid birthday party.