Film Review: Rules Don’t Apply

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I am reminded of Woody Allen’s “Café Society” from earlier this year, in which Jesse Eisenberg and Steve Carrell both fell in love with Kristen Stewart. The two men were business partners and relatives, Carrell the hotshot Hollywood producer and Eisenberg his nephew-turned-assistant. Stewart is the bright secretary whom already had relations with Steve, but has begun to fall for his nephew. The love triangle zig-zags through the 1930s, in both Hollywood and New York nightlife. It is not without its faults, but the main love triangle is engaging enough to carry the film.

“Rules Don’t Apply” follows a similar trajectory. It is, at its core, a love triangle between Warren Beatty, Alden Ehrenreich, and Lily Collins that too takes place mostly in Hollywood (this time in the 1950s). Beatty is the eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes of RKO Pictures fame, Ehrenreich is his faithful assistant Frank Forbes, and Lily Collins is the aspiring starlet Marla Mabrey. The young twenty-somethings hit it off almost immediately, sparking up a cute little romance. It’s when Hughes’ erratic desires enters the frame that it all goes south.

UWBP_00807FD_1.85 - Small town beauty queen and aspiring actress Marla Mabrey (Lily Collins) finds herself attracted to her personal driver Frank Forbes (Alden Ehrenreich), even though it defies their employer Howard Hughes’ #1 rule:  no employee is allowed to have an intimate relationship with a contract actress. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

Small town beauty queen and aspiring actress Marla Mabrey (Lily Collins) finds herself attracted to her personal driver Frank Forbes (Alden Ehrenreich), even though it defies their employer Howard Hughes’ #1 rule: no employee is allowed to have an intimate relationship with a contract actress. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

This is where the two films begin to differ. Whereas “Café Society” worked because of the built-in affection, “Rules Don’t Apply” stumbles because of the forced inclinations. The romance between Marla and Howard is so stilted, existing solely to drive a wedge between her and Frank. It is also to represent the dangers of Hollywood vanity, how far one will go to be a star and just how quickly producers will drop them like a bad habit. It is so ham-fisted it its approach, however, that it derails the entire production. What started out as a charming period piece devolved into a tiring slapstick comedy.

It is hard to buy into Marla’s newfound affection as anything more than a plot device. Sure, she was starstruck by the billionaire’s status upon arrival, but it never came off as nothing more than mere admiration. Even when she stated she had a crush on him, it never seemed of the heavily romantic kind; more of the fatherly variety. Alcohol plays a proponent of her come-on, but that too feels forced. She went from being a devout Christian opposed to sins of any kind to a bumbling alcoholic because of confused emotions for Frank. In all actuality, she became a heavy drinker to appease the mechanics of Warren Beatty’s transparent script.

UWBP_04953FD - Legendary filmmaker Warren Beatty stars as Howard Hughes in RULES DON’T APPLY, which Beatty wrote, directed and produced. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

Legendary filmmaker Warren Beatty stars as Howard Hughes in RULES DON’T APPLY, which Beatty wrote, directed and produced. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

Mary’s fling brings Hughes into the fold more heavily, going from a shadowy figure to a full-blown catalyst. His eccentricities which were coyly hinted at are now on full display. He teases investors by playing a childish game of cat and mouse, abuses his employees comically with obtuse rules to follow, pilots planes precariously for fatuous thrills, freaks out at the mere presence of children, and makes the most arduous of demands of trivial matters, such as acquiring gallons upon gallons of banana nut ice cream (which he then demands be changed to French vanilla). He’s a cartoon character of the tallest order, bouncing about with maniacal glee that brings question to his sanity. Of course, when his sanity nearly lands him in hot water, he flips a switch and becomes a suave businessman with a good head on his shoulders. Bugs Bunny demanded more subtlety.

Thanks to Hughes’ heavy involvement in the second half, the film transforms into a farcical comedy. It’s as much a slideshow for carnival antics as it is a romantic drama. The winsome chemistry between Frank and Mary is suffocated by Hughes’ grandiloquence. Frank parades around town catering to his boss’ most outlandish of requests in the hopes of landing a real estate partnership with the man. Meanwhile, Mary struggles with her conscience over whether or not to keep the bastard child she created with Hughes. This angle is a gross misrepresentation of the film’s tone, belonging in a more serious drama instead of this hokey claptrap. It is nothing more than a story beat here, with nary a distressing point on the mental state of the once-devout Christian.

UWBP_02509FD - Lily Collins stars in RULES DON’T APPLY, from legendary Academy-Award winning director Warren Beatty. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

Lily Collins stars in RULES DON’T APPLY, from legendary Academy-Award winning director Warren Beatty. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

It astounds me just how much Hughes’ presence hindered the production as a whole. I went from rooting for Frank and Mary to succeed in their love to hoping they never interact again. This was not out of malice, but sympathy for their own well-being. The two, along with Hughes, became toxic to one another, with the only true happy ending coming in the form of all three going their separate ways. That is not the happy ending we get, but one that is as vanilla as the ice cream that Howard demands at one point.

A cavalcade of stars descend upon the film to play dress-up. They include, but are not limited to, Matthew Broderick, Alec Baldwin, Oliver Platt, Steve Coogan, Paul Sorvino, Annette Bening, Martin Sheen, and Candice Bergen. They get to gawk for the camera and play victim to Hughes’ peculiarity, driving home the point of Hollywood vanity in the process. I’m not sure if the latter was intentional or not, but it’s present.

UWBP_00696FD - Alden Ehrenreich stars in RULES DON’T APPLY, from legendary Academy-Award winning director Warren Beatty. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

Alden Ehrenreich stars in RULES DON’T APPLY, from legendary Academy-Award winning director Warren Beatty. Photo Credit: Francois Duhamel.

It’s not that Warren Beatty mistakes Howard Hughes as the true star of the film. On the contrary, he realizes that the romance between Frank and Mary is the centerpiece and that Howard is simply the impetus of their ardor. Where he is misguided is in thinking that Hughes’ bombastic nature is charming when it is anything but. His antics are tiresome, grinding the pacing to a halt. For as much fun as Beatty seemingly had in playing the character, I had an equal amount of detachment from him. That detachment consumed the rest of the film, dragging it down as opposed to building it up.

Final Rating: C