Creating a horror anthology film centered on holidays is a brilliant idea! Not just from a creative standpoint, but from a marketing one as well. Holiday specific horror films do big business, crafting intrigue from the novelty. They are, however, limited in commercial appeal, as most will only watch said film during its respective holiday. With “Holidays,” most of the major days are accounted for, allowing for rewatchability throughout the year.
As far as quality goes, “Holidays” isn’t brilliant. Its concept far exceeds its execution, though that’s not to say the film is bad. None of the stories are boring, but most only range from decent to middling. All but one story comes out as excellent, with the rest simply occupying space. A few don’t even get much mileage out of their holiday, using the day as nothing more than set decoration. A shame given the unlimited possibilities.
The segments are broken up in chronological order. The film starts with “Valentine’s Day,” moves onto “St. Patrick’s Day,” hops into “Easter,” followed by “Mother’s Day,” then “Father’s Day,” naturally, jumps the whole way to “Halloween,” hightails it to “Christmas,” and concludes with “New Year’s Eve.” Notable holidays such as Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July are axed, for whatever reason. These stories range from the mundane to the downright bizarre, with the latter, even when not connecting, garnering points for brazen creativity.
“Valentine’s Day” starts us off with the mundane. The heavily bullied Maxine (Madeleine Coghlan), nicknamed Maxi-Pad (reminding me of that awful Adam Sandler comedy, “The Do-Over”), has a crush on the coach (Rick Peters). He takes pity on her and gives her a Valentine’s Day card, which she takes to hear t (which is a pun, mind you). Her gift in return involves the head bully and the expected violence. A decent way to start off the proceedings, but instantly forgettable.
“St. Patrick’s Day” is the most ambitious of them all. With many not familiar with the holiday’s purpose, taking to it as an excuse to get drunk, Gary Shore has open range to be as creative as possible. He concocts a story inspired by the legendary snakes of St. Patrick, with the demonically creepy Grainne (Isolt McCaffrey) putting a curse on her teacher, Elizabeth Cullen (Ruth Bradley). Said curse impregnates her with a snake, with the year-long pregnancy ending in the birth of a gigantic (and terrible-looking) CGI snake. This short starts off hot, but shits the bed with its finale. Without an understanding of Irish folklore, the bizarre dance ritual with devotees dressed up as goats and sheep and such is too puzzling to take serious. This story would’ve benefitted from being longer and it’s already the longest installment.
We go from the longest installment to the shortest with “Easter.” Even more simple than “Valentine’s Day,” though with more of a sick twist, this holiday produces a fable about the beloved Easter bunny. He’s not furry and friendly as believed, but a haunting cross between a bunny and Jesus Christ, replete with a crown of thorns and open hand wounds that produce baby chicks. When a little girl (Ava Acres) discovers him, she must take over the mantle. Think of it as a demented version of “The Santa Clause.” Short and to the point, with the impact being minimal.
“Mother’s Day” is just as ambitious as “St. Patrick’s Day,” complete with needing longer screen time, as well. Kate (Sophie Traub) gets pregnant every time she has sex, mainly because she’s an idiot and has her partner wear two condoms. For reasons unknown, she decides to abort each pregnancy until she’s recommended to attend a fertility clinic’s seminar out in the desert. This turns out to be a cult with ulterior motives, with the final shot just bonkers enough to not shit the bed like “St. Patrick’s Day.” Even so, the confines of a short restrained the story from reaching its full potential.
“Father’s Day” is, without a doubt, the best of the bunch! While the others serve as odd peculiarities, Anthony Scott Burns’ entry is a gripping thriller that never lets up. It concerns Carol (Jocelin Donahue) and her quest to find her father, whom she thought to be long dead. A tape recording from her father guides her through a deserted beach to his current whereabouts, with the audience knowing the result won’t be pretty. The beauty of this story is in never knowing what’s waiting for Carol, with the reveal nailing the punch. It results in more questions being asked, but in a positive way. It’s mysterious and creepy, just as the story itself is. A phenomenal short amidst subpar ones! Burns is one to keep your eye on.
“Halloween” has the unenviable task of following “Father’s Day,” with veteran Kevin Smith taking the bullet. His story is in the same vein as his last film, “Tusk,” in that it’s a strange tale of body horror. The victim this time around is Ian (Harley Morenstein), a pimp of sorts whose webcam clientele (Harley Quinn Smith, Ashley Greene, & Olivia Roush) turn the tables on him, shoving a vibrator up his superglued ass and revving it up via a car battery. I told you it was strange. The problem with this one is that Halloween is merely a backdrop, with only a mention of the holiday and a reference to a coven of witches. It could’ve easily taken place on Arbor Day without there being a lick of difference. The story is decent, but belongs in another anthology.
“Christmas” is similar in that the holiday is a mere backdrop to the story, though driven by the date a little more heavily. Pete Gunderson (Seth Green) is a struggling father looking to make his son’s Christmas a success with the acquisition of virtual reality glasses. He does so by stealing the last one from a fellow father suffering from a heart attack, with the VR glasses showing him his guilt and his wife’s (Clare Grant) seedy secrets. The horrors of VR is nothing new, with this short feeling redundant. Hell, Seth Green has already dabbled in VR horror as a teenager in Full Moon’s lackluster “Arcade.” This was just as lackluster.
Capping things off is “New Year’s Eve,” another story of redundancy, but told in diabolically beguiling fashion. It’s of a first date gone wrong, with the lovely and seemingly innocent Jean (Lorenza Izzo) being matched on a dating website with the effortlessly creepy Reggie (Andrew Bowen). He plans on abducting and torturing her, but she has other, more sinister ideas. One can easily guess where this is going, but it’s crafted well enough that it works. A fitting finale to an otherwise serviceable anthology.
That’s the thing with “Holidays:” it’s only ever serviceable. Take out the tremendous “Father’s Day” segment and you’ve got an anthology of decent but forgettable tales of terror. The concept is so rich that it’s hard to live up to, especially holidays such as Halloween and Christmas which already have a smorgasbord of content covering their territory already. “Holidays” has a better concept than execution, though it’s thankfully boring in the slightest.
Final Rating: B-