Big Screen Scoop: Quest For Scoops

JONNY QUEST: SPY KID

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It looks like screenwriters and casting agents all over Hollywood are about to have a big cloud hanging over their lives titled “The Hadji Problem”, because beloved (?) Hanna Barbera cartoon Jonny Quest is coming to the big-screen in live action.

If you’re an uninitiated young person who doesn’t know why you’d spend your key demographic money on Jonny Quest, it was a cartoon about the thrilling/shakily animated adventures of a young boy named Jonny, his offensive stereotype best friend Hadji, his neglectful father Dr. Quest and Dr. Quest’s…”buddy”, Race Bannon. If you’re a #90sKid, you might remember a revival that sent Jonny and pals into the sorry state-of-the-art computer graphics of “QuestWorld” and how it was horrible for everybody.

The Hollywood Reporter tells us that Robert Rodriguez has been hired to direct the film, some version of which Warner Bros have been trying to get off the ground for some time (Dwayne Johnson was attached at one point, presumably as Jonny). It will be some task to pull off a credible Jonny Quest in a world that now has The Venture Bros., which not only skewers the stupidity of Jonny Quest but also closes off the tantalizing reboot-parody option. Having struggled to get the film made before, it makes sense for Rodriguez to be brought on, famous as he is for working quickly and cheaply. Hell it’s probably finished already. Check it out in cinemas at the end of this week!

POINT BLAND

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Unquestionably the best film ever made about bank-robbing surfers, Katheryn Bigelow’s Point Break is definitely a thing you remember, and on that basis is prime material to be remade. The problem is though, if you want a movie that reproduces Point Break‘s daring capers, addreneline-fueled action and boiling homoeroticism, we now have a Fast and Furious movie for every day of the week, so do you really need…this?

Many questions are posed by this trailer. Is this remake set halfway to Pleasantville? Where has all the colour gone? Was the lead actor a sick experiment to clone Charlie Hunnam gone horribly wrong, or horribly right? “The only law that matters is gravity”, are you serious? You’re opening against Star Wars ARE YOU ****ING SERIOUS? 

 

TIME FOR ALAN MOORE TO GET MAD AGAIN

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Sweet snake god Glycon, please grant peace to Alan Moore in these trying times, as we go 3/3 on the creative bankruptcy of Hollywood in this Big Screen Scoop with the news that Fox is rebooting The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Variety reports that 20th Century Fox is taking another swing at a film adaptation of Moore and Kevin O’Neill’s comic about the adventures of public domain literary characters. The 2003 film version was the last work of Sean Connery’s career, a film that he turned down the part of Gandalf in Lord of the Rings for, so while it never did much for Fox it presumably helped vodka martini sales skyrocket. The plan was a few years ago to turn the property into a television series instead, but although Fox ordered a pilot, it was not picked up for a series, so this whole business pretty well reinforces what Moore said at the time the series was planed; “…it seems they are recycling things that have already proven not to work”. Can we recycle the idea of retiring an actor forever with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? Adam Sandler for Allan Quatermain, anyone?