Dave the Dave’s Review Review: “Who wants to order a vegetarian pizza?” (Full House)

What ever happened to the predictability? The milk man, paperboy and evening TV? Well? I’m still waiting for an answer. I don’t recall ever getting one. It certianly wasn’t locked away in John Stamos’ stupid face. CUT IT OUT! HAVE MERCY! HOW RUDE! YOUGOT IT DUDE!

Easy Cinnamon, the title is an obscure reference for my sister to enjoy. You showing makes this way to referencial regarding things no one will get. So take a back seat. “Full House” (or it’s alternative title “Three Men and a Baby…and two other kids, a dog, some news anchor lady and then two more babes”) was a prime time family comedy about a struggling widower sports anchor and his challenges raising three girls. Faced with this challenge, he does what any man would do; he calls a biker and a stand-up comedian to help him. The three men all have to learn how to raise these girls together while simultaneously fighting off cheesey writing and cliched premises.

U Mad Bro?

Father Danny is a sympathetic man. He lost his wife and his battle with sanity. He’s now an extreme germaphobic, likely a side effect of the grief. The creators of “Monk” can thank Bob Saget. Along with these problems, he’s surrounded by crazy people. Take his first born DJ. She’s smart and responsible, and even she ends up dating a biker and Aladdin. That’s nuts.

His middle child Stephanie was constantly doing a Jane Brady impression. She acted out by hosting the show “Pants Off Dance Off” on Fuse. I might be confusing real life with telvevision again.

It started early with this one

HIs youngest child Michelle was by far the worst. She was whiney, rude, selfish and addicted to crack cake. She even thought she was two different people at times. God I hated the episode when they went to Disney. LET STEPHANIE BE HAPPY! Michelle is just going to kill the Joker one day.

Once Danny was promoted to morning show host his life got better. Eventually some lady named Becky became his cohost. She married his biker-in-law Jesse. Then those two have twins and move into the biggest attic I’ve ever seen. In an earlier episode comedian Joey had to live in a nook in the living room before they cleared out the basement….WHY THE HELL DID NO ONE MENTION THE GIANT UPSTAIRS APARTMENT!? To make this confusing paragraph worse, Danny meets another tv host and falls in love, but she moves and solidifies that Danny Tanner is in some kind of hell the likes of which Charlie Brown would ot envy. It’s probably Comet’s fault.

Look at him down there, biding his time.

I had two issues with this show. The first is:

CARELESSNESS! (THE DOOR!)

The second is Kimmy Gibler. She’s the “Urkel” of this universe. Well, actually Urkel shows up so I guess it’s the same universe. The TGIFiverse is a weird place. She’s a wacky kid with little parental supervision. Shawn Hunter was the same way for a while. Kimmy had matching chromosomes and crazy clothes so that was her hook. They should have just made a spin off with her and Mr. Woodchuck. I know I’m jumping around all willy nilly, but you’ve seen “Full House”. Some shows don’t need that much explaining. It had a really long run so let’s all fall off a horse, get amnesia and end this thing here.