“So Undercover” shoots itself in the foot at the outset! By casting Miley Cyrus as a private investigator, Tom Vaughan prevents the viewer from ever being invested in the story. It’s hard to care about the events taking place when none of it is plausible. Films can easily rely on being fantastical to allow the viewer to suspend disbelief, but this is asking too much. The film may be a comedy, but it wants us to take Cyrus seriously, which is the biggest laugh of all. Since we can’t, never do we find ourselves invested in the story or care about the outcome.
To be fair to Tom Vaughan and Miley Cyrus, the script (written by Allan Loeb & Steven Pearl) doesn’t do the story any favors in the credibility field. Molly (Miley Cyrus) is supposed to be a smarter than her age private investigator that the FBI wants to recruit her in an undercover operation. They choose her mainly because she can pull off playing a college student, but insist they chose also because of her skills. If that’s the case, why does she struggle so much to keep character? Immediately upon arriving at the college, she constantly breaks character, nearly blowing her cover. Aren’t private investigators supposed to be good at, oh I don’t know, staying private?
I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s jump back a bit. We’ll start with FBI Agent Armon (Jeremy Piven, who seems to pick movie roles based on how bad they can damage his career), who approached Molly with a job. He wants her to go undercover as a sorority girl at a college to find information on a mobster’s daughter. Or something like that. Vaughan doesn’t really care about that. He just wants to get Molly into the college so she encounter as many clichés as possible. She initially turns down the offer, but accepts it (for more cash) when her father, Sam (Mike O’Malley), loses seventeen thousand dollars on betting on horses. He would’ve lost more had he bet on this movie turning a profit.
She’s given the alias Brooke, which she hates for no apparent reason. She’s given a makeover (in one of the worst montages I’ve ever seen) and is taught to speak like girls her age. That is by spitting in the face of the target demographic by portraying them as insipid fools whose sole purpose in life is to giggle and find men to take care of them. And don’t tell me, “But Molly is a role model for girls!” Do remember she’s a tomboy who initially looks down upon her sorority sisters and seems to hate being a woman. What a good role model.
Her idea of fitting in is using words such as “amazeballs”. She says this approximately more times than her father sang “Achy Breaky Heart”. She tries to fit in with her sorority sisters and dig information up on them to discover who’s in on this mobster deal. I have a feeling she doesn’t even know what her mission is, as she’s more concerned with unveiling professors who are secretly dating their students. She’s roommates with Becky (Kelly Osbourne), who also looks down at her sorority sisters despite having to be initiated into the fraternity (except for Molly, who got in because she’s a transfer student). I only bring her up because she’s played by a severely miscast Kelly Osbourne.
In the midst of her investigation, she develops a crush on Nicholas (Joshua Bowman). Why, I don’t know. He has the personality of a rotting peach. I guess it’s because, like her, he’s into motorcycles and jazz music. That and he seemingly has an IQ that’s in the double digits, unlike the rest of the people attending this college. She tends to really break her character when around him, at one point getting so flustered and telling him that has balls are amazing. I’m not kidding! What’s even dumber is that, to cover her tracks, she’ll insult herself by stating, “I’m stupid! I don’t know what I’m talking about!”
This is easily the most annoying aspect of the film! It’s not that she can’t keep character. It’s that she thinks it’s wise to backtrack her statements by calling herself an idiot. In what universe does that make sense? Not only that, but why exactly does she have to act like a walking cliché? Contrary to popular belief, there are smart women out there who attend college to get a degree and a career. They’re not all out looking for a sugar daddy and speaking in internet lingo. Why couldn’t Molly portray this character? She wouldn’t have to stretch her acting ability (which goes for both the character and Cyrus) or make herself look like an idiot.
The reason being is that wouldn’t produce comedic opportunities. Granted, any opportunities created by Vaughan are quickly dashed by a moronic joke or recycled gag. There’s only so many times I can take the dumb blonde making a fool of herself in front of everybody. It’s even worse when it’s revealed she’s a chemistry major who may actually be smart. I guess that’s a joke, but I didn’t find it funny.
I didn’t find anything in “So Undercover” funny. I didn’t find any of it entertaining. I found it to be insulting! The story was insulting, the characters were insulting, the twist at the end was insulting. I know I’m not the target demographic, but I know who is; teenage girls. Having watched this film, I know it does everything in it’s power to insult them to their face. The producers may find that funny, but the joke’s on them. This film got shelved for months before being dumped onto DVD shelves with barely any promotion. It seems the people they’re calling stupid are smarter than they think.
Final Rating: F