Blockbuster Porn: Batman XXX

It’s not quite time for the Dark Knight XXX parody to be out yet, so in the meantime lets look to the past for our final installment of this month’s feature. We have a guest here with us for our Batman XXX review, fellow FAN writer Michael Coello from Direct to DVD Dissection. He wrote to me on Twitter specifically wanting to share his thoughts on why Lexi Belle’s voice was so grating. I figured why not have a conversation.

Before we jump in, I have to admit it’s been at least ten years since I’ve sat down and watched an episode of Batman. If this was a Batman: The Animated Series porn parody I’d be a lot better prepared. But as is I’m going to be very unprepared, with the only Batman fact still in my head being that Lee Meriwether in the movie was the first Catwoman I really wanted to bed, before I ever knew what that feeling was.

Michael: I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, but I have had more access to the cartoons and some interviews and all that.

JD: I’ve had the luxury of seeing a LOT of these parodies lately, so I’ve become accustomed to a certain level of quality from the Vivid products. But I’m old enough to remember how TERRIBLE porn used to be. What were you expecting from this?

Michael: My early experience with parodies was stuff on Cinemax and Showtime, softcore stuff that parodied Spider-Man, “Spider-Babe” I think it was called, along with one about King Kong. Also, movies with similar names, like Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, Witches of Breastwick and all that. Going into it, I figured it was gonna be some sex scenes in random spots with the Batman name, kind of like how the other Batman movie parody turned out to be, BATFXXX I think it was called.

JD: Yeah, haven’t seen that but I’ve seen it in my searches. Backside to the Future was my first parody, and one of the first things I wrote about for FAN.

This new generation of parodies has been spectacular, at least the ones that have tried to be. This felt like a genuine episode of the Batman show (what I remember of it). The sets were good, but bad enough I could see them being from a 60’s television show, and the costumes were about as accurate as they could be.

The first scene is Riddler with the captive Lisa Carson (The first time I’ve seen a Kimberly Kane scene I think), and I’m always very weary about how that sort of thing plays out. Superman XXX has an internal voice-over to explain “this isn’t rape!”, and I suppose Carson’s seducing a very-silly Riddler for preferential treatment is alright.

Though come to think of it, Alexis Texas rapes Batman later on.

I like Evan Stone I general, and the tv Riddler was overly-goofy, wasn’t he? His scenes made a lot more sense then they did in Superman at the least.

Michael: The movies did look very much like the original. It even had the similar set up, with the crime happening and the villain showing up to do the crime, shot to Gordon and O’Hara to talk about how bad this situation is and they have to call Batman, cue credits.

Plus, the costumes do look like the ones from the show, with the exception of the XXX logos on them. Miles better than the Justice League XXX parody had for Batman & Robin in there.

Yeah, the Gorshin version of Riddler on the show was so manic and crazy, it was that performance alone that brought Riddler to the A-level of the Batman rouge gallery. It’s probably why Riddler got to be in Batman Forever and in the Animated Series. It’s also a good fit for Evan Stone, as the guy is possibly one of the goofiest adult personalities ever. The first and funniest moment I remember of him was him just breaking out into song in “The Ghost in a Teeny Bikini”, singing about werewolf humping, and being all into it. Plus, for most interviews, the guy just seems like he’s having a blast, no matter what he’s in.

As for the scene, it was a bit strange, for those reasons you said, and it was how I noticed how everything shut down once the sex was happening. You had the music going and all the actors saying lines, but the minute the actual sex started, it all went quiet and it was “business as usual”, which has kind of creeped into most of these parody movies.

JD: I didn’t notice, because I usually skip the sex scenes when I’m watching for a review. Cuts out on at least an hour of time in front of my computer. I’ll jump ahead every few minutes (Incredible Hulk XXX actually had some plot mixed into one of the sex scenes), but I don’t notice things like that otherwise. I’ll leave the porn to the experts, I grew up comics dammit and that’s what I know.

Quick Riddler aside; Dark Knight/Dark City is his best story. DC reprinted it recently. Anyone who likes the character needs to check it out, never before or since has Nigma been so dark and menacing.

Randy Spears as Joker didn’t impress me as much, though I have to give him all the credit in the world for wearing make-up over his mustache. Great touch. His scene bothered me the most, just because of how unsexualized Joker is in comics. I don’t have any problems with Syren Sexton or Andy San Dimas, but it doesn’t jibe with my expectations.

Michael: Weird, cause if I was made to name a porn expert, it would have been you. I’ll also second the Dark City mention. I read it, and it was real good.

On to Spears, yeah, it felt off watching someone in the heavy Joker make up in the act of sex. Was more distracting that anything, even with the two other girls being there.

All credit for the mustache nod, but man….

JD: Oh, I enjoy watching it, but sex really breaks up my ability to make obscure or flat-out lame comic references. That’s my bread and butter when I solo these.

As I said I’m not as familiar with the original show, and I had forgotten completely that Batgirl was played by a redhead. And as you pointed out to me earlier, Lexi Belle was a blonde here.

It’s strange, because its pretty much the only casting that doesn’t match, and I’ve seen her with red hair before! I end not to find her voice as distracting as you do though, lol. I liked her constant teasing of Robin, because didn’t Burt Ward and Yvonne Craig have a relationship for a while? Not a bad pull, Boy Wonder.

Dale DeBone as Batman was completely ace (the bat hound).

He was really channeling Adam West well. And going back off-topic, did you ever see The Misadventures of Adam and Bruce? It was about Adam West and Burt Ward solving a real-life crime. Pretty damn ridiculous and awesome. Adam by this point had fully committed to playing himself as Adam West’s Batman, which I think had started back on an episode he guest starred in of Johnny Bravo where he follows a trail of nonsensical clues to find Johnny’s mama. And that was back before celebs playing absurd versions of themselves had taken off.

Michael: I did see Misadventures of Adam and Burt. Probably the best thing in it was the reenactments of scenes with the young Adam and Burt from inception to cancellation, with second being the ending in the Cave.

JD: I wanted to talk about Tori Black real quick before I leave you to your own better articles, and I feel really crappy because I had a non “purrrrrfect” pun to make. I was going to jot it down, but no, that ruins the integrity of the project if it’s not organic. Dammit. Well, whats most important is that she more then filled out that catsuit. Hot damn. I just met her, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to her much or ask her about these movies. :/

Pretty in person as well!

Michael: Yeah, as I said, Tori was great in it, pretty much perfect casting, and I’m more upset she wasn’t in more of the movie. Also nice to see the 60’s outfit get love, after all the people who, for some reason, use the Berry Catwoman outfit in most of them.

JD: Whoa whoa whoa…the Catwoman (2004) costume was terrible! I mean, it did have it’s pluses, but in general the 60’s one is so much more simple and effective, and iconic! Don’t worry, I took a really, really good screencap of Tori’s butt I’ll be posting right under this.

Tori also looks fine when she’s out of the suit.

I think we’ve pretty much covered the gamut of what’s to talk about with this movie, though I did like slow pans and shots of legs, since that hasn’t been brought up.

And thanks for chatting Michael! Anything you want to add?