Bending the Rules
Plot: District Attorney Theo Gold (Jamie Kennedy) teams up with corrupt cop Nick Blades (Adam “Edge” Copeland) to find his missing car. The irony in this partnership being that Theo is trying to send Blades to jail and currently has him on suspension. They uncover a string of deaths related to license plate numbers and race to save the day.
Review: Just like most of WWE Studios’ catalogue, “Bending the Rules” is forgettable. Not terrible or insulting, just by the numbers. They take no risks and play it safe. Sometimes, this pans out. I liked “Legendary” and “That’s What I Am”. I was hoping to say the same about this film, as I’m a huge Edge fan. I can at least say he was good in it.
The problem is he doesn’t have much to work with. He’s saddled with the abrasive and smart-alecky cop role. He’s the loveable detective who gets the job down by bending the rules (hence the title). He’s stuck in a buddy cop comedy (that for some reason is posing as a drama, which it’s not). Unfortunately, he’s stuck partnering with the annoying Jamie Kennedy. To be fair, he’s a bit more tolerable here. Still annoying, though.
They go through the motions. They hate each other at first, must work together, start to bond and work well together. Yadda yadda yadda. The murders connected to stolen cars they’re investigating is fruitless and weak. As is wasting Jennifer Esposito as Officer Garcia. She’s the person the screenwriter, Dylan Schaffer, turns to when he needs quick solutions.
Artie Mandelberg follows the WWE Studios motto and does nothing with the script. He lets it play it laboriously and hopes the audience will chuckle every now and then. I did, but not enough to make this a worthwhile experience. I didn’t hate this film. I just didn’t really care about it.
Final Rating: C
Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles
Plot: Since the early eighties, tiles that read “Toynbee idea in movie 2001 resurrect dead on planet Jupiter” have been popping up all over North and South America. Justin Duerr, Colin Smith and Steve Weinik have banded together to investigate this mystery and uncover the identity of the tiler. Jon Foy documents their findings.
Review: I’m going to do my best to not reveal anything in my review of “Resurrect Dead”. I feel it’s best to go into it cold like I did. All you need to know is the plot mentioned earlier. Other than that, you should go in with a clean slate. Don’t do any research or investigation of your own beforehand.
Jon Foy will provide you with all of the research and information needed. You’ll have to briefly sift through information on Justin Duerr’s life that doesn’t add much to the story. Other than that, everything you need to know will be told to you. Within minutes, you’ll be sucked into the mystery like I was.
Once the trio begins their investigation, you’ll be waiting on bated breath to see what they unearth. I won’t spoil whether or not they solve the mystery. I will state that Foy does a fantastic job in keeping the suspense up on that scenario. By inserting other theories throughout the years, he adds more scenarios to boggle your brain, making the suspense even more tingling.
The subject matter at hand is utterly fascinating. It’s strange, yet not exactly creepy. It gave me goosebumps, but not out of fear. More out of curiosity and perplexity. Who put these tiles down, why did he/she do so and what does the message mean. Jon Foy and the trio of investigators do a splendid job of helping answer these questions!
Final Rating: A-
A Dangerous Method
Plot: After curing Sabina Spiel rein (Keira Knightley), Carl Jung (Michael Fassbender) begins a steamy affair with her. He also develops a tumultuous friendship with Sigmund Freud (Viggo Mortensen), a father figure to him. As Spiel grows into her own psychiatric role, the three’s methods and beliefs begin to clash.
Review: “A Dangerous Method” is better when Cronenberg is focusing on the sexual deviancies than the psychiatric warfare (so to speak). That’s not to say the latter doesn’t work. On the contrary. I just felt that the film lost steam when it switched gears near the end.
I don’t want this to come across as a negative review. Far from it. I really enjoyed “A Dangerous Method” and urge you all to seek it out. The performances were fantastic! Knightley is a bit over the top in the beginning, but that is necessary. I’m usually iffy on her, but she proved her worth her. She does get overshadowed by the powerhouse performances of Fassbender and Mortensen, though that’s to be expected.
Vincent Cassell also outshines her as Otto Gross, an Austrian psychoanalyst and an early disciple of Freud. He’s the key to bringing them all together, though I would have liked to see a bit more from him. He plays a key role, but doesn’t get as much screen time as I’d have liked. It’s an understandable decision, as this isn’t his film.
It’s Jung, Freud and Spiel’s film and it’s a good one at that. Cronenberg isn’t afraid to explore the sexual deviancies, which come across very natural. Any other director would have forced this upon the audience. He simply lets it flow. I may have felt a little under whelmed by the second half, but it’s still worthwhile.
Final Rating: B
Carnage
Plot: When their sons get into an altercation, Penelope & Michael Longstreet (Jodie Foster and John C. Reilly) and Nancy and Alan Cowan (Kate Winslet and Christoph Waltz) try to patch things up. Things start out smoothly, but quickly degenerate into carnage when their true feelings come out.
Review: I can’t quite criticize “Carnage”. Roman Polanski does succeed in what he set out to do. He successfully adapts Yasmina Reza’s play, “Le Dieu du carnage”, into a film (she also wrote the screenplay). It’s easy to tell this is based on a play, as the entire film takes place in the Longstreet’s home. Only the complex’s hallway and park are also utilized, with the latter only being used in the opening and closing. Despite being noticeable, Polanski avoids the cramped and claustrophobic feel this normally has.
Despite all of that, I couldn’t fully get behind “Carnage”. It’s a dark comedy with no likable characters. That’s it’s intention, which is why I struggle to criticize this. Film criticism is at it’s core personal preference. Even so, I must give credit where credit is due. Polanski and the cast deserve credit for doing a dark comedy correctly. They do extract some laughs and will probably gain more from those who stick with this.
I simply couldn’t find myself doing that. On few occasions, I’d perk up and laugh heartily. Michael’s nonchalant defense on why he stranded his daughter’s hamster on the street to die is hysterical. As are some of Alan’s sly insults. Penelope and Nancy get a few good jabs in too, but not until they’re drunk. The problem I had was these fits of laughter only came in spurts. The rest of the film I found myself being annoyed and downright sickened by their actions and beliefs. Once again, this is the intention. Polanski and company are successful. Just not to my liking.
“Carnage” is only eighty minutes, so it goes by quick. Even when I was finding myself displeased, I was never bored. The film moves at a fast pace and never lingers on any one scene (though this film is technically one giant scene). This is a good thing and a bad thing. A good thing because it went by quick. A bad thing because I wanted it to. At least there were a few moments I enjoyed out of it and it was technically sound.
Final Rating: C+
This Is Not a Movie
Plot: Pete Nelson (Edward Furlong) locks himself in a Las Vegas hotel room and waits for the apocalypse to strike. In the remaining forty eight hours on Earth, he spouts political and religious theories and argues with his multiple personalities. One of them believes this is all just a movie by a struggling screenwriter, hence the random segments injected throughout.
Review: There’s a better way to stress your political and religious views then by making a below average movie. Yes, this is indeed a movie. The title is extracted from Pete’s argument with one of his multiple personalities that “this isn’t a movie”. Clever, huh? Nope, it is not and neither is this wasteland of a film.
Olallo Rubio clearly has a lot on his mind. What he doesn’t have is much of a script to work off of. He got lucky in casting Edward Furlong, who does his best to carry the light load. He at least makes talking to himself serviceable. I grew tired of his tirades which dragged an already slow moving film down.
The only thing keeping this afloat are the random segments that pop up to further drive home Olallo’s viewpoints. These offer nothing more than a few minor chuckles, but that’s better than the rest of the film. My favorite would have to be the mock trailer for “The Reagan Force”, which lampooned the eighties American lifestyle.
“This Is Not a Movie” focuses heavily on the apocalypse. It’s the structure holding this film together. Pete Nelson is going to die in forty eight hours. Whether or not the whole world is going with him or if he’s just a character being erased remains a mystery until the end. The end of the world seemed like a nice relief from watching this movie.
Final Rating: D