Dave the Dave’s Review Review: Who else was confused about Fabian Kaelin? (Wrestling Society X)

That man in the picture on the main page is Fabian Kaelin. The reason I ask about him is because I’m not sure if anyone else noticed him. He was the over-the-top ring announcer every week on Wrestling Society X. WSX was one in the long line of MTV trying to air wrestling for some reason.

If you didn’t notice Fabian, it’s because there was A LOT going on. He went crazy if you missed it. He started descending every week into a crappy version of “A Clockwork Orange”. I believe a visual will explain better:

Top to Bottom: Normal, Crazy, and What?

If that was too weird for you as a wrestling fan, I would go ahead and turn back now. If that kind of stuff is what you think all wrestling is, well, you’re misinformed, but in the most fun way possible. WSX was the most fun a wrestling show has been in a long time. Let me clarify, it wasn’t always good, but it was always as fun as can be. It was wrestling in the least serious form it exists. Well, perhaps not as ridiculous as early Chikara, but it is close. There were no long winded diatribes, there weren’t any old school technicians and there was no soap opera driven story line. Everything was tongue in cheek. It was fast paced, it was actually total non-stop action, and it had a very deep talent roster. For people who read my reviews that don’t necessarily like wrestling, musicians showed up every week, played, and commented on the main match of the night.

Hard to tell, but this is Zakk Wylde caring about wrestling.

For the wrestling nerds out there, this show had something we haven’t seen in a while: a tag team division with depth and talent. That was the best part of the show for me. We had Alkatrazz and Luke Hawx, who looked like they just got out of jail. Arik Cannon and Vic Grimes, who weighed about as much as the whole MTV purchased crowd in attendance. The Cartel, which was a bad gang and the member Delikado I truly believe, inspired the show “Delocated.”

Note: Not a Russian

Now we’re hitting the meat of the division. We’ve got D.I.F.H., comprised of Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black. They were going to make Lacey proud no matter what. The dynamic team of Matt Cross and Teddy Hart, who were about as spotty as the match ideas in this promotion. Then we get stereotypical with the Trailer Park Boys, Keepin it Gangsta’, Team Dragon Gate and Los Pochos Guapos. You can probably guess each ethnicity by team name. Then we hit the real high point of the division; the visually stunning That 70’s Team.

The rest of the roster was pretty good too. The weakest part was the show heavyweight title fights, but what wrestling show doesn’t have that problem? That consisted of Vampiro, Sean Waltman and Ricky Banderas. None of them are that bad, they’re just old and the most famous, hence the status. The rest of the roster is a bunch of young workers that really held up this stupid product. El Hombre Blanco Enmascarado was a white guy in a mask; also a good wrestler. Jack Evans flipped around and Human Tornado danced around on his private entrance staircase. Youngsters like New Jack and Justin Credible wrestled circles around everyone (may or may not be true), and that old Matt Classic taught everyone how to do a proper top wrist lock. Scorpio Sky just graduated high school and was carrying his awards around while Puma seemed to have just been born.

The real star was someone that is now in the WWE; Matt Sydal. He and his partner in crime Lizzy Valentine, as you can see, are just adorable. Thing is, they are so mean! I mean, like oh my god. They were valley kids and greasy old Sean Waltman tried to snake her, but nothing ever came of it. Those of you that know Sydal as Evan Bourne may not be able to understand this, but he is surprisingly good at being a big jerk. He was smug, arrogant and just damn good at wrestling. Bravo Matt, you are now reaching such heights as getting high too much and being fired from your dream job. Oh well idiot, maybe Lizzy will take you back.

The roster of any wrestling promotion is what carries it, but WSX had something more, it had pizazz. And by pizazz, I mean they were out of their minds. The best beginning is the ending for WSX. In just the fourth episode, WSX was canned. Why you might ask? They had Ricky Banderas throw a fireball in the face of Vampiro. MTV found this offensive and cancelled the show, then aired the remaining five episodes in a marathon. The most confusing part of this is that the show was taped a long time in advance, almost a year. Why MTV didn’t bother changing that beforehand I don’t know, but the brightest stars are sometimes only meant to shine for a short time.

Forget MTV, I'm not scared to show it.

The next season was already in the progress of being planned. The first main event was going to be Ricky Banderas taking on Youth Suicide in a Scaffold Match. For those that don’t know, that match involves wrestling on a raised platform and to win you have to throw the other man down to the ring. It’s incredibly dangerous and stupid. Speaking of which, did I mention that the final main even to air was an exploding cage match? That’s right, the cage exploded at the end of the match and everyone died…or something I guess. The very first episode ended in a battle royal ladder match and along the way there was a TLC match (tables, ladders and cerveza…yeah) and match where a guy’s head got dunked in a piranha tank.

Overall, Wrestling Society X was bad. I loved every minute of it though. As soon as I saw the DVD, I bought it. If any of what I said resonates with you, I recommend it. Along with the aired shows, they give you all the internet content and a bunch of extras. For the $4 of value it is now (I bought it from Best Buy for $20…stupid world), I would pick it up if I hadn’t already. If you must, I’m sure SOPA can’t stop you from stealing it. Watch it. My words do it no justice.

This is why Ricky was champ. This action is beyond words.

Credit Goes to: MTV.com, Wikipedia.org, and wopwrestling.wiki.com.