Think you wanna write a comic book…?

By MATT SCHORR

Anyone out there ever dream of putting together your own comic book or graphic novel?  Well, let me give everyone out there a free bit of advice: don’t.  Publishers will ignore you.  Outsiders will laugh at you.  And artists…well, they’re a whole new level of unadulterated pain in the ass.

I once read an interview from someone who said publishers are looking for good stories.  In fact, they’re desperate for them.  The same was said of film studios and comic book editors.  They all want good stories.  They’re all on the lookout for them.

Bullshit.

Publishers, editors, producers…they want stories that sell.  Anyone who says otherwise is deluded or lying.

Consider J.K. Rowling.  I’m sure you know her.  She’s that nice British lady who wrote the Harry Potter books, the most successful book series in history.  Did you know she was rejected by twelve different publishing houses before someone finally accepted her first manuscript?  Did you know that the only reason a small firm in London accepted it was because the chairman’s eight-year-old daughter enjoyed the first chapter?

Just think about that for a moment.  Seven books, eight films, over a dozen video games, and more all exist today because of an eight-year-old girl.

Remember...12 publishers passed on this idea.

But hey, let’s stick with comics here.  If you’re strictly a writer (like me), before you even think about sending your project to a publisher you’re going to be plagued with the most brain-damaging task of all: finding an artist.

“Sounds really, really cool man.  I’d love to work with you on this!”  “Dude! I don’t even care about getting paid!  I just want to draw something cool!”  “AWESOME!!!  SIGN ME UP!!!  I’D LOVE TO DRAW THIS!!!”

Those are some very real first responses to projects I’ve pitched.  They were followed up by…nothing.  One of them managed to church out a single character sketch just over a week later.  The rest?  They pretty much vanished.

I can only liken the experience to a brief stint I had in high school working part-time at a daycare center.  It’s actually still a bit of an inaccurate comparison, since most of the kids tended to actually do what I asked of them.  But hey, you see where I’m going here.

Artists, like so many creative types, can be a fickle lot.  One moment, they love your idea.  The next, they’ve forgotten all about you in favor of going out for pizza and beer.

The bottom line is this.  If you want to publish something, especially a comic book, you’ve got to really want to do it.  There’s just no way around it.  You probably have a good idea.  Hell, it’s probably a great idea.  I bet you could even be the person whose idea saves the industry from imploding on itself.

Just don’t expect anyone in the industry to realize it right away.  You’ve got to scream pretty loud for them to hear you, what with their heads planted firmly up their collective asses.

I’ve been fairly sarcastic throughout this, but let me be serious in closing.  If you’ve got an idea for a comic, by all means go for it.  Ignore the endless rejections.  Pay no mind to those who might insult your efforts.  Keep at it.  Keep fighting, clawing, scraping, and scratching.  When you come out on the other end you’ll be bruised, bloody, and a little bit jaded…but dammit, you’ll be published.

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