It has finally come to this. After two painful movies, I’m at the last installment of the High School Musical series. The sub-title, “Senior Year”, leads me to believe this is the final one. Since a fourth hasn’t been made since this one’s release, I’m not expecting one. I’m also praying there isn’t another one, as I know I’ll be bombarded with requests to do that, as well. I don’t think I can handle it.
Instead of worrying about that (and getting your e-mails ready), kick back, relax and enjoy my suffering!
-It’s refreshing to see the actual Disney logo open the film.
-Will this one actually take place at a High School this time? Maybe it’ll be in a retirement home.
-Senior Year better mean this is the final one. I don’t want a College Musical.
-A close-up of Zac Efron sweating and breathing heavily is not the way to open this film, or any other, for that matter.
-The Wildcats are losing? They’re going to blame this on the singing, aren’t they?
-I wish this coach were realistic and would tell the team that they suck.
-“You only have sixteen minutes left in a Wildcats uniform.” Will they explode?
-“We’re going to remember the next sixteen minutes long after we leave East High.” It’s going to be that humiliating!
-Don’t you even think of breaking into song in the middle of the basketball game!
-If they needed to sing, they should have done it in the locker room.
-“That’s a foul!” Congratulations, random father in the crowd. You know the rules to basketball.
-Nobody is fazed by Gabriella and Troy stopping to sing to each other?
-Chad with the kip-up. All he needs now is to eat a Sweet Chin Music.
-“Put in Rocket Man.” Elton John is on the team?
-“It’s now or never!” I choose never.
-The Wildcats win. What a surprise.
-Enjoy the victory while it lasts. Real life will soon kick in and kill your spirit.
-“That’s the kind of players I’m looking for.” You’re recruiting for the musical Harlem Globetrotters?
-Troy and Gabriella (literally) sitting in a tree. Boring me to T-E-A-R-S.
-How is your mom talking about you going to Stanford embarrassing?
-Don’t look directly into the camera, Zac. It’s distracting.
-Time to sing again! I love how Troy was contemplating on whether or not to do so.
-I thought Troy was going for jazz hands there.
-Are you playing hide & seek on a treehouse?
-Did the roof just open on command due to their singing?
-Why do these two have trouble kissing?
-Troy is wearing a cape. Is he auditioning for Superman?
-AHHHH!!! Sharpay!
-Looks like Sharpay is back to being a bitch. I called it!
-Did Troy just bitch slap what’s-his-face?
-A foreign exchange student will be Sharpay’s assistant. Wonderful.
-Is Rocket Man supposed to be high or just stupid?
-The prom theme is “The Last Waltz”. Why didn’t they choose a Disney theme, like Arabian Nights?
-New York Deli is an insult?
-Why are they complaining about performing in the Spring Musical? You gladly did one in the last film.
-Ha, ha! Gabriella just got denied by the entire class.
-Singior Year? That’s a terrible pun!
-“Who’s the comedian?” The person who made this movie.
-“What is your future?” Realistically, most of them will fail.
-“Mr. Bolton, your future?” I’m renaming myself Michael.
-How the hell did she get that spotlight on command?!?
-What school has parfaits on their lunch menu?
-Sharpay breaking into song scared the hell out of me!
-I thought Ryan became independent in the last film. Why is he still acting like Sharpay’s third leg?
-“Ryan and Sharpay in Everything” Sounds like a porn title.
-“I want it all!” All I want is for this movie to end.
-I’ll give credit where credit is due; the production values liven this movie and it’s musical numbers up.
-Did Sharpay just check her brother out?
-“We’re twins. They’re going to have to take us both.” Sharpay is the type of person who gets a zero on her SAT.
-It’s not hard to dance on a roof, Troy.
-Be careful not to throw her off of the roof.
-This just hit me. How do they know the exactly what the other person is going to say in an impromptu song?
-They just performed a successful rain dance. Does this mean they can join a tribe?
-I really didn’t want to see Troy and Chad being chased by boys in towels.
-“I need to breathe.” Aren’t you always doing that?
-East High has the most relaxed detention I’ve ever seen. Oh no, they have to paint!
-We already got past Troy liking musicals. Everybody is fine with it. Don’t dig up the storyline again!
-I’m sure Chad’s hair has a fan site.
-Do boyfriends actually have to ask their girlfriends to prom? Isn’t it already a given?
-It looked as if Troy was asking Chad to prom. Now, there’s a movie!
-Did this movie just make me laugh intentionally? All it took was Troy embarrassing Chad in front of the whole school.
-“The Night of Nights.” Sounds like a rejected Triple H PPV.
-“Do we have to dress up for prom?” How many brain cells do you have?
-I never want to see Zac Efron pelvic thrusting ever again!
-The guys don’t know what a corsage is. How are any of them going to college?
-“It’s going to be a night to remember.” Unless somebody spikes the punch bowl.
-High School Musical 3 gets a theatrical release and East High suddenly has better set designs for their plays. Coincidence? I think not!
-Is there any reason for Rocket Man and the foreign exchange student to develop a relationship, outside of padding the length (which should be trimmed)?
-“You can’t get rid of me that easy.” Trust me, I’ve been trying.
-“The show must go on, must it not?” If I say no, will this movie end? Please?
-At least Ryan and Kelsi having a relationship makes sense.
-I just noticed how much Ryan looks like a duck.
-Where the hell did everybody else come from?!?
-Wet paint means you don’t touch it, dumbass!
-Seeing Troy and Chad with a biker type of guy is weird.
-“I just want my future to be my future.” That’s what Pauly Shore said. Look where that got him.
-A musical number should never take place in a junkyard. A steel mill, maybe…
-“The boys are back!” In town?
-The car is alive! Run!
-Since this movie keeps adding couples, can we hook that car up with Christine?
-According to this movie, the fountain of youth is located in a junkyard.
-At least this movie admits the musical numbers are fantasy and not reality. It makes them easier to swallow.
-Did Troy just open his locker by punching it?
-Stop saying toodles!
-“What’s a picnic without chocolate-covered strawberries?” A picnic.
-“You can’t put off something as amazing as Stanford.” It’s not like Brown.
-“We’re going to graduate. That’s going to happen.” You could fail and repeat the 12th grade. Just saying.
-“I guess my heart doesn’t know it’s in High School.” My heart thinks it’s in Hawaii.
-I’ve seen corpses that are better at kissing than these two.
-I’m getting tired of Gabriella’s sappy solos.
-“Just walk away!” Can I? Please?
-The picture disappearing was a terrible effect.
-This went from night to day in seconds. How long has she been singing?
-Not another father/son heart-to-heart. These are terrible!
-“I’m not a little kid anymore!” I’m a big kid now!
-What’s with the storm? Is this turning into a horror movie?
-A moody Troy solo? This is different.
-It’s raining basketballs! Hallelujah!
-This must be Batista’s worst nightmare.
-Are you telling me Christopher Nolan stole his infamous “Inception” scene from this movie?!?
-Zac Efron’s version of the spider walk isn’t scary, just funny.
-How did Troy get into the locked school, anyway?
-Why exactly was Ms. Darbus sitting alone in the auditorium after hours?
-Am I allowed to scream?
-Ms. Darbus giving the emotional speech to Troy is far better than his father.
-Never make me think of a Sharpay show. It’s torture!
-“You did good!” Chad didn’t do anything!
-Haven’t Troy and Gabriella broken up enough by now? Granted, this time it makes sense.
-Has anybody ever seen their life as a ball game?
-“I don’t plan on missing my prom.” Neither did I, but I missed mine.
-“My prom is wherever you are.” That’s one of the cheesiest lines I’ve ever heard!
-Not only is it time for another song, but it’s a repeat.
-Way to actually kiss! You get a gold star!
-Cologne is a toxic spill.
-Why would you make Rocket Man Troy’s replacement?
-“High School wasn’t meant to last forever.” Unless you’re Luke Perry.
-Stop cheering. The show’s not over yet.
-“Cute pants!” Out of curiosity, has anybody ever meant that as a serious compliment?
-“We’re being pulled a hundred different directions.” Kinky!
-Come out, Rocket Man, so Sharpay will shut up!
-Did he raid Steven Tyler’s wardrobe?
-I totally forgot about Sharpay’s assistant. Great character development.
-Way to mess up the rhythm, Troy!
-Shouldn’t Sharpay get her role back?
-CATFIGHT!
-What was the point of choreographing this show if you’re going to constantly adlib?
-If the show was so good, why are the Juilliard recruits leaving early?
-That’s a small senior class.
-He’s chosen basketball theater. They’ll be ten screenings of Hoosiers a week.
-Screw Chad’s future! Wrap this up already!
-“What makes you think we’re getting diplomas?” I’ve been asking the same question.
-“We’re all in this together!” I didn’t agree to that.
-They graduated. Now, get out of my life!
-Not another song! Just end already!
-“High School Musical says we have to let it go.” Did they just break the fourth wall?
-“Step into the future.” I’d like to. It’s called the end credits.
-That’s the worst wave I’ve ever seen. Watch Summerslam 2004 and see how it’s done.
-Why are they vibrating?
-Stop smiling at the camera!
It’s over! I’m done with the High School Musical movies. No more singing; no more dancing; no more moping; no more cheesy dialogue; no more Sharpay; no more…
No! Fuck you, “Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure”! I’m not watching you! I promised to watch the High School Musical movies, not any of it’s spin-offs. All you are is the mutant offspring with a third eye, four fingers, twelve toes and a hunchback that is thrown into the cellar because nobody loves it (no offense to any mutant offspring). I’m done with the High School Musical movies and there’s nothing you can do about it.